La Sign Shop offering huge discount on signs!
Editorial correction: Unaware that our article was sabotaged, we published the TISH Pledge incorrectly. The phrases, “Speak Politely” and “Be green no matter the cost” are not part of the pledge. We apologize for any misunderstanding this may have caused.
Protests erupted in Athol when U.S.A. resident announced his candidacy. Town Council will discuss legality this weekend.
Muffin Man announced his entry into the race to the customer buying donut holes at his shop. Due to his upcoming busy schedule, MM will have to resign as curator of the Oppositional Gravity Exhibit.
FIRST-EVER MAYOR TO BE ELECTED. CANDIDATES MUST EMBODY TISH PLEDGE: TO: FREE SPEECH SPEAK POLITELY LIVE GREEN LIVE GREEN NO MATTER THE COST REMAIN AUTONOMOUS EMBRACE GLOBALIZATION DEFEND BORDERS PROMOTE PEACE FIGHT TERRORISM ENFORCE NON-VIOLENCE
Hours after finishing a 72 Hour Scrabble tournament, Sonny Cecil, owner of La Seniors Fun and Frolic Club, is recovering from emergency surgery. Earlier in the day Cecil was assaulted by another Scrabble player participating […]
THURSDAY NEWS SCOOP New findings in a trial test using 23 Athol residents after playing Scrabble for 72 hours straight, indicate that mood can be determined by the way a person shreds paper. Dr. Long, Athol doctor, provided participants […]
La House of Slightly Difficult Relatives has available placements. If you are looking for a substitute Grandmother, Grandfather or Aunt, we have a fine selection in the 75 – 90 year range. La House of […]
WEEKEND SPORK (KEEP HOT AIR TO MINIMUM) Anti-V and Anti-S Words Institute ban ckbks cntaining violent wds lk prce, whsk, and grnd. IF YOU AGREE, PLEASE “LIKE.”
Klein Hime is flying back and forth from Tonga to Samoa across the International Date Line in order to arrive before he leaves and live forever.
La Role Model Appliances and Housewares offering huge discounts.
Passion Ata, librarian at Athol Public Library has published a new book titled, To There from the End. Place your order for a signed copy at the Library. Ms. Ata’s other published book, Found with No Breeze, is also available. […]
Marshall of Tunneler’s Union say ban “Whack the Mole” game. Part-Time Animal-Thought Translator, Mr. Whooey, sys “Whack the Mole” relifs strss in peple, thn thy kind to mols. Ms. Lessparts, oner of La Living Forgiveness, hs frgven […]
AGHS, AGUE, and UGHS The Committee on Acronyms, COAC, met last evening to discuss whether Athol needs all three of these acronyms: AGHS – Anti Green House Society; AGUE -Arrest Green House Ultimate Effect; and […]
Fallen Mart House bilt o’er Fallen Mart Store wrecked by moles. Wrm hat, safety goggles protct pet. Buy at La Clothing for Large and Small Animals. COCAF, Committee on Camouflage, paint brown grass green. Sve water. Fool terrorist lookng for brwn […]
HERE GRAMMY #211 INTERVIEW GRAMPS #3924
Insect Rehab Center say sck fly bttr Safari nd snail. Summer died. Athol Bk Clb read Huge Nap Keith M. Caged nab pre-terrorist. Green Song Contest o’er soon. Mst be abt lving green. Athol Happenings in SPORK, Editor […]
SHIMY HIME COMING HOME! Shimy Hime will arrive back in Athol tomorrow. Klein Hime, who went to Tahiti to find a remedy to restore Shimy to her original size, was not available for comment. A […]