

In the midst of Muffin Man’s apparent disappearance into the Black Hole, two mayoral candidates of Athol woke this morning to acts of undeniable viciousness.
Elsie-What-When, still grieving over the tragic death of Summer, her pet Snail, found sautéed escargot on her front door stoop, still hot from cooking. Ulric Utter woke to a blasphemous phone call from an anonymous person who spoke a litany of unpleasant words, including “nasty,” “repulsive, and “loser.”
What-When is running on the MOP party ticket, and Utter is running on the SLOP party ticket.