YON WONDER, ATHOL’S FITNESS TRAINER, CHANGES CAREERS! HE’S DOING WHAT HE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO: CREATE COLORFUL FOOD ART.
Earlier today, Ulric Utter announced his candidacy for mayor of Athol and the symbol he’s chosen for the party. Utter is founder and professor at the Anti-V(iolent) and Anti-S(cary) Words Institute. He recently proposed […]
Earlier today, Will Watt, Athol Word Scientist proved that flowers do not wilt as fast when placed near Shorkers (Short Speakers). Flowers near Norkers (Normal Speakers) wilted in three days, rather than in a […]
Yon Wonder, Athol’s fitness trainer, is running for Mayor of Athol on the newly formed Loathe-Sticky-Labels-On-Fruit Party (LOP) ticket. Wonder complains that stickers on produce are impossible to remove gently because he has big hands and […]
Elsie What-When, POP candidate for mayor, believes that Removing “La” as a prefix to Athol businesses, is more important than situating business alphabetically. “If we want to attract people to Athol, we need to appear sane!” Admittedly What-When flunked French three times.
Me-Jane, COP candidate, choses their party’s new political symbol!
Me-Jane, owner of La Hardware Store and Midwife for Fallen Mart Homes, announced her entry into the Athol Mayoral Race. Me-Jane is a staunch supporter of the Chocolate-Only-Politcal Party (COP).
IT WILL ELIMINATE CONFUSION, MUFFIN MAN, DEPENDS-UPON (DOP) POLITICAL PARTY CANDIDATE, STATED EARLIER TODAY. THE COMMUNITY OF ATHOL HAS ONE STREET. IF MUFFIN MAN’S PLAN IS SET IN MOTION, LA ANIMAL AND SALAD CAFE WILL SIT AT […]
ELSIE WHAT-WHEN, STILL IN THE THROES OF GRIEF FROM THE DEATH OF SUMMER THE SNAIL, ANNOUNCED HER CANDIDACY IN THE MAYORAL RACE AND STARTED A NEW POLITICAL PARTY IN ATHOL, PROMISE-TO-KEEP-OUR-PROMISE (POP) PARTY.
Athol’s two political parties, Most-Certainly (MOC) and Depends-Upon (DOP) have announced their party symbols. As of today, one person, Muffin Man, a moderate DOP, has entered the race for Mayor. Tomorrow afternoon, Elsie What-When is expected […]
MINUTES of Athol Town Council meeting held on August 2, 2015, at Athol Public Library. Grammy #211 took minutes. Members present: Grammy #211 Gramps #3924 Mrs. Smith Sonny Cecil Will Watt Ms. Lessparts […]
GRAMMY #211 INTERVIEWED THREE ATHOL RESIDENTS, SHOWING EACH THE WONDERFUL SKETCH OF A POCKET WATCH BY SHAFALI (https://shafali.wordpress.com ) HERE ARE THEIR RESPONSES: HENRIETTA HUPHUP: Up in the morn. Check my pocket! Check on the […]
La Sign Shop offering huge discount on signs!
Editorial correction: Unaware that our article was sabotaged, we published the TISH Pledge incorrectly. The phrases, “Speak Politely” and “Be green no matter the cost” are not part of the pledge. We apologize for any misunderstanding this may have caused.
Protests erupted in Athol when U.S.A. resident announced his candidacy. Town Council will discuss legality this weekend.
Muffin Man announced his entry into the race to the customer buying donut holes at his shop. Due to his upcoming busy schedule, MM will have to resign as curator of the Oppositional Gravity Exhibit.
FIRST-EVER MAYOR TO BE ELECTED. CANDIDATES MUST EMBODY TISH PLEDGE: TO: FREE SPEECH SPEAK POLITELY LIVE GREEN LIVE GREEN NO MATTER THE COST REMAIN AUTONOMOUS EMBRACE GLOBALIZATION DEFEND BORDERS PROMOTE PEACE FIGHT TERRORISM ENFORCE NON-VIOLENCE
Hours after finishing a 72 Hour Scrabble tournament, Sonny Cecil, owner of La Seniors Fun and Frolic Club, is recovering from emergency surgery. Earlier in the day Cecil was assaulted by another Scrabble player participating […]
THURSDAY NEWS SCOOP New findings in a trial test using 23 Athol residents after playing Scrabble for 72 hours straight, indicate that mood can be determined by the way a person shreds paper. Dr. Long, Athol doctor, provided participants […]
La House of Slightly Difficult Relatives has available placements. If you are looking for a substitute Grandmother, Grandfather or Aunt, we have a fine selection in the 75 – 90 year range. La House of […]