REVERSIA FROM LAFAYETTE, CA, TO OPEN AN R STORE! SHE IS CURRENTLY TAKING CONSIGNMENT ITEMS! A bit of trivia about Ranetta Reversia: Her name used to be Hanetta Heversia, and she owned Hadicchio the Hippo. […]
Tag: Politics
IF ELECTED MAYOR, WILL WATT WILL ENFORCE SPACSING (SPEAKING IN ACRONYMS) INTO MEGAPHONES!
THE MOMENT WE’VE WAITED FOR: CANDIDATES STATE PLANS FOR ATHOL!
CULPRIT FOUND! YON WONDER ROASTED TURKEY FROM ATHOL SAFARI PARK!
KLEIN HIME, INVENTOR OF DEHYDRATION FORMULA, SIGHTS MUFFIN MAN IN MAUI!
CAMPAIGN UPDATE ON CANDIDATES’ WRONGDOINGS!
STOVETOP “BIRTHS” INTO LONGSOCKS CLOTHES CLOSET IN THEIR FALMART HOME!
“CHEETAH ON A SIZZLING METAL COVER” BY GRAMMY #211 TO PREMIERE IN ATHOL!
GRAMPS #3924 ADMITS TO SAUTEEING SUMMER THE SNAIL! READ THE WHOLE STORY!
VOTE FOR ME-JANE AND GET A FREE PIECE OF CHOCOLATE!
TEETH MARKS ON CANDY IN J. HEIMER-SCHMIDT HOUSE MATCH THOSE IN THE BITTEN CHOCOLATE IN ME-JANE’S STASH. HAVING ALREADY CONFESSED TO FALSELY ACCUSING SOMEONE OF COMPROMISING HER CHOCOLATE STASH, ME-JANE ADDS TO HER WOES BY […]
VOTE FOR GRAMPS #3924 IN MAYORAL RACE AND GET FREE POPCORN FOR A YEAR!
AFTER GUNHILDA SLIGHT ASKEW WAS CAUGHT KISSING LOOKEEHERE, SHE PLEADED FOR MERCY! IN AN EFFORT TO KEEP HER JOB, ASKEW DOUBLES HER HOURS TO TAKE THE CENSUS AND FIND OUT WHO FORGED BLACK HOLE TRIP […]
ME-JANE CONFESSES! I DID IT! I CANNOT TELL A LIE!
ME-JANE, COP (CHOCOLATE-ONLY-PARTY) MAYORAL CANDIDATE ADMITTED THAT NO ONE BROKE INTO HER HOUSE AND TOOK BITES OUT OF HER STASH! OTHER CANDIDATES WERE ASKED IF THEY THOUGHT ME-JANE SHOULD QUIT THE RACE.
AUTOPSY REVEALS SUMMER THE SNAIL WAS SAUTEED!
DISTRAUGHT ELSIE-WHAT-WHEN WITHDRAWS FROM MAYORAL RACE! What-When, running on the POP (Promise-To-Keep-Our-Promise) Party, intends to spend the rest of her days healing at La Shimy Hime’s School of Love and finding Summer’s killer. NEW MYSTERY: WHO WAS […]
ELSIE-WHAT-WHEN AWAITS RESULTS ON SAUTEED ESCARGOT AUTOPSY!
Earlier this fall What-When, POP (Promise-To-Keep-Our-Promise) candidate woke to the horrifying sight and odor of sizzling snails. She fears one of the them is her beloved Summer the Snail. Earlier she’d found a crushed snail […]
POLITICAL CAMPAIGN TURNS SOUR!
RECAP OF INCIDENTS IN MAYORAL RACE: PERSON UNKNOWN STICKS ALIEN MONSTER LABELS ON YON WONDER’S PRODUCE! Wonder is running on the LOP (Loathe-Sticky-Labels-On-Produce) party. WONDER’S PARTY STATEMENT: My only concern is to keep produce from bruising. […]
SPOP (SHORT SPEAKING PARTY) CANDIDATE WILL WATT SAYS: ATHL MST MVE FRWRD!
WILL WATT INTERVIEWED ABOUT BLACK HOLE MISSION Watt, an advocate of Shorking (Short Speaking), pleaded to the masses to Shork ” We r usg mssve amts of energy 2 sve Mffn Mn. Plse Shork! Lss […]
THE DAILY ATHOLIAN: 