GRAMPS #3924 ADMITS TO SAUTEEING SUMMER THE SNAIL! READ THE WHOLE STORY!
ELSIE WHAT-WHEN BRINGS CRIMINAL CHARGES AGAINST GRAMPS #3924!
GRAMPS #3924, INDEPENDENT CANDIDATE FOR MAYORDR. LONG, SAUTEEING SPECIALIST
GRAMPS #3924, INTERIM OWNER OF LA SALAD CAFE UNTIL MUFFIN MAN RETURNS, FOUND SUMMER IN THE CAFE’S BACKYARD!
KEITH M. CAGED, PEACE OFFICER AND EAST BORDER PATROL GUARD
ROVING REPORTER’S QUESTION: SHOULD GRAMPS #3924 BE ALLOWED TO RUN FOR MAYOR!
WILL WATT, SPOP (SHORT-SPEAKING PARTY) CANDIDATE. FOUNDER OF SHORKISM, PRESIDENT OF SHORKERS UNIVERSITY. SHORK = SHORT SPEAKINGULRIC UDDER, SLOP (SPEAK-LOVINGLY-OF-OTHERS PARTY) MAYORAL CANDIDATE, AND FOUNDER OF ANTI-V WORDS AND ANTIV-S WORDS INSTITUTE
AT THE AGE OF 7 3/4 YEARS, KEITH M CAGED TOOK HIS CAT WUFF-WUFF FOR A RIDE IN A RED WAGON AND HAS NEVER FORGIVEN HIMSELF SINCE THEN
THE DAILY ATHOLIAN: 