GRAMPS #3924 ANNOUNCED HIS CANDIDACY AS AN INDEPENDENT IN THE ATHOL MAYORAL RACE. Earlier today, Gramps #3924, said, “All these fancy names: COP, DOP, FOP, LOP, MOP, POP, SLOP, promising chocolate, alphabetical businesses, forgiveness, love, […]
Late yesterday afternoon, Janice J. Heimer-Schmidt found the grate covering the Shimola Ann Bancanfanmannanpanrantanvan Black Hole. Keith M. Caged, East Border Patrol Guard admitted that he had not noticed it missing at the time Muffin Man […]
In an interview today, Ulric Utter, running on the SLOP platform, begged candidates to eliminate V (violent) words and S (scary) words from their speeches. “Above all”, he stated, “Speak with kindness to one another.” In […]
Me-Jane is running on COP (Chocolate-Only-Party) ticket. “Chocolate should be available day and night.” Muffin Man is running on DOP (Depends-Upon Party) ticket. “Athol businesses should be alphabetically situated.” Ms. Lessparts is running on FOP […]
In the midst of Muffin Man’s apparent disappearance into the Black Hole, two mayoral candidates of Athol woke this morning to acts of undeniable viciousness. Elsie-What-When, still grieving over the tragic death of Summer, her pet Snail, […]
Earlier today Keith M. Caged, East Border Patrol Guard, found a paper in La Donut Hole apparently written my Muffin Man listing, “All-Weather Coat, Toothbrush, Toothpaste, Care Package for Lois Lois, Donut Holes, Pajamas, Slippers.” This new […]
A box labeled “Care Package for Lois Lois,” found in Muffin Man’s apartment yesterday evening may be linked to the mysterious disappearance of Muffin Man. According to Keith M. Caged, East Border Patrol Guard and zoologist, Lois Lois […]
Early Tuesday morning, Muffin Man was reported missing when he didn’t come to work a La Donut Hole. A resident, name undisclosed, saw M. Man near the Shimola Ann Bancanfanmannanpanrantanvan Black Hole Park at about 7:45 p.m. Monday evening. An […]
Earlier today at a campaign rally for Yon Wonder, Muffin Man attacked Wonder with three-day old salad greens. Wonder recently changed careers from Fitness Trainer to Colorful Food Artist. Wonder is running on the Loathe-Stickers-On […]
No sooner than Artist Ah entered the Mayoral Race on the Most-Certainly party platform (MOP), Muffin Man, running on the Depends-Upon Party (DOP), attacked with vicious slander.
Ulric Utter, running on Speak-Lovingly Political Party (SLOP) announced today that if elected Mayor of Athol, he would remove acronyms that contained unloving words. Of the seven acronyms he studied, only three passed the pleasant speaking test:
ALGAE: Always Live Green and Energy Efficiently
ASPOPSER: Assistant Population Sign Maker
BAAA: Become an Animal Advocate
Ms. Lessparts and Huge Bike Man met 46 years ago in kindergarten when Lessparts volunteered to test Bike Man’s roller skates . Lessparts has tested Huge Bike Man’s inventions since the age of six. When […]
“Once the campaign is in full swing, the candidates will need more energy, ” Ms. Nodoff said in a statement early today. ” If you can function completely while sleeping, why not do it?” Ms. Nodoff runs […]
Earlier today, Muffin Man, DOP candidate for mayor, and owner of La Donut Hole, denied that alphabetizing business locations in Athol had anything to do with his new relationship with Mae Pullham, owner of La Dentist. […]
Vicious pranks on two mayoral candidates occurred late last night. A person or persons unknown broke into the homes of Yon Wonder, LOP candidate for mayor, and Me-Jane, COP candidate for mayor, applying alien monster stickers […]
Today, Yon Wonder chose the symbol for LOP party. Wonder just changed his career of Athol fitness trainer to Colorful Food Artist.
Earlier today, Ulric Utter announced his candidacy for mayor of Athol and the symbol he’s chosen for the party. Utter is founder and professor at the Anti-V(iolent) and Anti-S(cary) Words Institute. He recently proposed […]
Yon Wonder, Athol’s fitness trainer, is running for Mayor of Athol on the newly formed Loathe-Sticky-Labels-On-Fruit Party (LOP) ticket. Wonder complains that stickers on produce are impossible to remove gently because he has big hands and […]
Me-Jane, COP candidate, choses their party’s new political symbol!
Me-Jane, owner of La Hardware Store and Midwife for Fallen Mart Homes, announced her entry into the Athol Mayoral Race. Me-Jane is a staunch supporter of the Chocolate-Only-Politcal Party (COP).