AFTER GUNHILDA SLIGHT ASKEW WAS CAUGHT KISSING LOOKEEHERE, SHE PLEADED FOR MERCY! IN AN EFFORT TO KEEP HER JOB, ASKEW DOUBLES HER HOURS TO TAKE THE CENSUS AND FIND OUT WHO FORGED BLACK HOLE TRIP […]
Category: Gunhilda Askew
CULPRIT FOUND! YON WONDER ROASTED TURKEY FROM ATHOL SAFARI PARK!
OUTER SPACE ALIEN HEARD INSIDE TUNNEL IN UNDERGROUND ATHOL!
DRAFT BEGINS! ATHOLIANS AGES 10 – 70 MUST VOLUNTEER TO RESCUE MUFFIN MAN FROM BLACK HOLE!
2ND COUSIN ONCE REMOVED OPENS DRAFT CENTER IN LIBRARY. Temporary Hours : Saturday, Oppositional Gravity Center Room, 7 a.m. to 7:45 a.m. Monday – Friday, La House of Hole Detection Room, 7 a.m. to 7:45 a.m. […]
LIONEL LOOKEEHERE IN ATHOL TO INVESTIGATE TUNNEL IN WHIPSNAP’S CLOSET!
Minutes after arriving from Lafayette, CA, Lookeehere ate a hearty breakfast of oatmeal, one poached egg, one scrambled egg, one donut cube, and a Belgian waffle. A tea blend of boysenberry and Cherymoya (acquired in a […]
MYSTERY TUNNEL LEADS TO WEB OF MYSTERY DOORS THROUGHOUT ATHOL!
CAGED AND CATCHEM ARE OVERWORKED! A retired guard, name unknown as of this printing, who trained at Maze University in Lafayette, CA , U.S.A.will arrive in a few days to assist Keith M. Caged and Will Catchem […]
ASKEW CONTINUES SEARCH FOR WRITER OF MUFFIN MAN’S BLACK HOLE TRIP LIST!
ME-JANE NOT HURT IN MAYORAL VOTE BY HER REFUSAL TO TAKE HANDWRITING TEST! In a survey taken yesterday, 3 out of 4 Atholians said they’d vote for Me-Jane, who’s running on the COP (Chocolate-Only-Party) platform, […]
ATHOL RESIDENTS BRACE FOR HANDWRITING ANALYZES!
SUSPICION HOVERS OVER BLACK HOLE TRIP LIST PRESUMABLY WRITTEN BY MUFFIN MAN. Gramps #3924, Independent candidate for mayor, found innocent! ME-JANE, COP CANDIDATE FOR MAYOR, REFUSES TO TAKE HANDWRITING TEST. “Chocolate makes me shake.” When […]
GUNHILDA S. ASKEW REVEALS HER MIDDLE NAME: SLIGHTLY
“SLIGHT” CAN BE AN UNPLEASANT WORD, BUT “SLIGHTLY” IS ACCEPTABLE, SAYS ULRIC UDDER. Udder, SLOP candidate for mayor and founder of Anti-V and Anti-S Words Institute, was the recent target of a call from an anonymous […]
GUNHILDA ASKEW PASSES ATHOL’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCY TEST!
GUNHILDA ASKEW RECEIVES POLKA DOT RESIDENCY CARD AND IS ATHOL’S NEW CENSUS TAKER AND HANDWRITING ANALYST! Askew agreed to learn the words to last year’s Athol Greenness Competition, the 3rd question on the Athol Temporary […]
GUNHILDA ASKEW WILL TAKE TEMPORARY RESIDENCY TEST!
What does the acronym WWHBSBTMITL represent? What is the newest addition to the Athol Safari? i.e. Rudgear the Rhinoceros. Sing the winning song from last year’s Athol Greenness Competition.
THE DAILY ATHOLIAN: 