ME-JANE NOT HURT IN MAYORAL VOTE BY HER REFUSAL TO TAKE HANDWRITING TEST!
In a survey taken yesterday, 3 out of 4 Atholians said they’d vote for Me-Jane, who’s running on the COP (Chocolate-Only-Party) platform, despite her refusal to give up chocolate for 24 hrs. to take a handwriting test. Me-Jane’s hands shake uncontrollably when she eats her daily dose of 1/2 lb. of dark chocolate with walnuts. Four people were surveyed.
WINNIE WRITER INNOCENT OF IMITATING MUFFIN MAN’S WRITING!
Writer’s handwriting is illegible, according to Gunhilda Slightly Askew. To eliminate any doubt, Writer was asked to write a paper on why she loves Athol. Askew said, after reading the 12 page document, “There’s no doubt in my mind, that Writer is innocent.” Writer’s horse, Hayes, resides in Athol Safari Park.