AUTHORITIES NOW BELIEVE THE WOMAN WHO C0-FOUNDED ATHOL WAS LULU SPORK, NOT LULU SHORK!
WILL WATT. FOUNDER OF SHORKING INSTITUTE, WAS HEARD AGONIZING INSIDE HIS HOUSE:
WHILE AT THE ALTERNATIVE LANGUAGES CONFERENCE, LEAD REPORTER INTERVIEWED DELIGHTFUL BROOM, BEARER OF SPORK EVIDENCE:
LIONEL LOOKEEHERE, SPEAKING OF HIS INVESTIGATION:
HANDWRITING EXPERT, GUNHILDA SLIGHTLY ASKEW, WHO EXAMINED THE LETTER TO CONFIRM LULU’S SURNAME:
STATEMENTS FROM ATHOLIANS REGARDING SHORKING INSTITUTE:
MS. NODOFF, WHO TEACHES AT THREE SCHOOLS, INCLUDING SHORKING INSTITUTE:
ALIEN RECYCLING SPECIALIST:
EXHILARATIONESE ADVISOR:
THE DAILY ATHOLIAN: 