ULRIC UTTER, SLOP (SPEAK-LOVINGLY-ONLY-PARTY) CANDIDATE RECOVERING SLOWLY FROM ON AND OFF SOBBING! “Repulsive,” “nasty,” and “loser” were the words that sent Ulric Utter into despair. According to Dr. Long, oppressive word therapist, “If Ulric Utter […]
DR. LONG, WORD-MEANING THERAPIST, EXPLAINS THE IMPORTANCE OF THE UNDERLINED WORDS IN X-RATED BOOK: RABBIT, LIKE, YOU, A, RAN, ALSO! POSSIBLE CODE SENTENCE: You also ran, like a rabbit Also, a rabbit ran like you […]
ATHOL RESIDENT COMES FORTH WITH CRUCIAL INFORMATION! Black Hole Trip List items: All-Weather Coat, Toothbrush, Toothpaste, Care Package for Lois Lois, Donut Holes, Pajamas, Slippers. According to NU (Name Undisclosed,) Muffin Man did not wear slippers. […]
A REPRESENTATIVE OF THE ORGANIZATION SAID, “We never used the word ‘Escapes,’” in reference to the headlines on October 6, 2015, ‘CLIENT OF LA HOUSE OF SLIGHTLY DIFFICULT RELATIVES ESCAPES!’ The editor of this paper […]
TUNNEL DISCOVERY UNLEASHES QUESTIONS ABOUT WHIPSNAP’S DEATH! Ms. Nodoff reveals Whipsnap and Muffin Man’s father, Bran Man, had been in a relationship for many years. Nodoff claimed she had no further information about the liaison. This news opens […]
PINK, YELLOW, BLUE, BLACK, WHITE, RED, TURQUOISE, AND FUCHSIA SHOE LACES HUNG FROM CLOTHESPINS. NO BROWN! Whipsnap died on March 21, 2015 at age 99. DR. LONG, ATHOL’S PHYSICIAN AND THERAPIST, SAYS: “Collecting shoe […]
THE DAILY ATHOLIAN: 