MRS. LONG, 99 YR. OLD WOMAN DISCOVERED IN ATHOL UNDERGROUND MAZE, KEEPS A RUBBER DUCKY IN HER PURSE!

OUTER SPACE ALIEN SOUND TRACED TO HEARING AID BELONGING TO SHORTA LONG, DR. LONG’S MOTHER.

Mrs. Long lived underground for 35 years.  Her son, Dr. Long, Athol physician and therapist, brought her food and supplies.  Dr. Long was asked why his mother lived there.

CAMPAIGN UPDATE ON CANDIDATE WRONGDOINGS:

CANDIDATES WHO HAVE ALREADY CONFESSED THEIR WRONGDOINGS:

  1.  Me-Jane made up story of her chocolate stash being compromised.

  2.  Gramps #3924 sauteed Elsie What-When’s pet snail, Summer.

  3.  Ulric Udder stole his mother’s wooly socks.

  4,  Artist Ah tore a friend’s collage to pieces.