2ND COUSIN ONCE REMOVED OPENS DRAFT CENTER IN LIBRARY. Temporary Hours : Saturday, Oppositional Gravity Center Room, 7 a.m. to 7:45 a.m. Monday – Friday, La House of Hole Detection Room, 7 a.m. to 7:45 a.m. […]

2ND COUSIN ONCE REMOVED OPENS DRAFT CENTER IN LIBRARY. Temporary Hours : Saturday, Oppositional Gravity Center Room, 7 a.m. to 7:45 a.m. Monday – Friday, La House of Hole Detection Room, 7 a.m. to 7:45 a.m. […]
DISTANT COUSIN MISSING! La House of Slightly Difficult Relatives did not have a photo of Distant Cousin. YON WONDER PASSES SECTION ONE OF WRITING TEST! Wonder, running on LOP (Loathe-Sticky-Labels-On-Produce) platform will retake Section […]
WONDER MAKES PEAR, PROSCIUTTO, AND BRIE SALAD FOR HUGH BIKE MAN & VOLUNTEERS! Yon Wonder, running on the LOP (Loathe-Sticky-Labels-On-Produce) party platform, reported that Bike Man entered The Black Hole at midnight in another attempt to […]
EARLY TODAY, SUSPECT PIP LONGSOCK ADMITTED TO COVETING CHOCOLATE, but denied biting into COP candidate Me-Jane’s stash on the night of August 17, 2015. Asked where she was on the evening of the crime, Ms. Longosck claimed she’d […]
BESIDES HOSTING AN ALL NIGHT VIGIL, THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE GAVE GENEROUSLY TO THE BLACK HOLE RESCUE MISSION: COP MAYORAL CANDIDATE ME-JANE DONATED A DAY’S SHARE OF CHOCOLATE TO RESCUE EFFORT. “I only hope the volunteers feel […]
In an interview today, Ulric Utter, running on the SLOP platform, begged candidates to eliminate V (violent) words and S (scary) words from their speeches. “Above all”, he stated, “Speak with kindness to one another.” In […]
Me-Jane is running on COP (Chocolate-Only-Party) ticket. “Chocolate should be available day and night.” Muffin Man is running on DOP (Depends-Upon Party) ticket. “Athol businesses should be alphabetically situated.” Ms. Lessparts is running on FOP […]
Ms. Lessparts and Huge Bike Man met 46 years ago in kindergarten when Lessparts volunteered to test Bike Man’s roller skates . Lessparts has tested Huge Bike Man’s inventions since the age of six. When […]