WOMAN WITH POLISHED TOENAILS IDENTIFIED! POWER OUTAGE AT BLACK HOLE CAUSED BY SABOTAGE!

WOMAN - NOT ME! 4TH
PIP LONGSOCK

EARLY TODAY, SUSPECT PIP LONGSOCK ADMITTED TO COVETING CHOCOLATE, but denied biting into COP candidate Me-Jane’s stash on the night of August 17, 2015.  Asked where she was on the evening of the crime, Ms. Longosck claimed she’d spent the evening at home alone.

HUGH BIKE MAN BUBBLE
HUGH BIKE MAN, MARRIED TO MS. LESSPARTS

LATE LAST NIGHT THE GENERATOR POWERING THE RESCUE OF MUFFIN MAN WAS DAMAGED.  Bike Man suspects sabotage. It was discovered after he and other volunteers had taken an hour-long sleep break from 2 a.m. to 3 a.m.

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