EARLY TODAY, SUSPECT PIP LONGSOCK ADMITTED TO COVETING CHOCOLATE, but denied biting into COP candidate Me-Jane’s stash on the night of August 17, 2015. Asked where she was on the evening of the crime, Ms. Longosck claimed she’d spent the evening at home alone.
LATE LAST NIGHT THE GENERATOR POWERING THE RESCUE OF MUFFIN MAN WAS DAMAGED. Bike Man suspects sabotage. It was discovered after he and other volunteers had taken an hour-long sleep break from 2 a.m. to 3 a.m.