DISTANT COUSIN MISSING!
La House of Slightly Difficult Relatives did not have a photo of Distant Cousin.
YON WONDER PASSES SECTION ONE OF WRITING TEST! Wonder, running on LOP (Loathe-Sticky-Labels-On-Produce) platform will retake Section Two later when he is not so busy with rescuing Muffin Man.
MS. LESSPARTS, HUSBAND OF HUGH BIKE MAN, CLAIMS PEOPLE ARE APATHETIC!
Bike Man disappeared into the Black Hole while leading a group to find Muffin Man. “The volunteers don’t want to find my husband. They say they’re afraid.” Lessparts, running on the FOP (Forgive-Our-Husbands Party) wept uncontrollably. “What will I do without him?”
UP-TO-DATE RESULTS OF WRITING TEST:
People who passed: Gramps #3924, Winnie Writer.
People who refuse to take test: Me-Jane.
People who passed part of the test: Yon Wonder.
THE DAILY ATHOLIAN: 