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THE DAILY ATHOLIAN:

T.I.S.H. WORLD NEWS
Uncategorized by ethsJan 3, 201619:1201/03/2016
BEST ACTIVITIES LEADER OF ATHOL SAFARI PARK CORRECTION
POSTHUMOUS AWARD TO SUMMER THE SNAIL

EDITOR REGRETS ERROR IN JANUARY 3, 2016 ISSUE!

Elsie What-When by ethsJan 3, 201618:4001/03/2016
MOST BLACK AND WHITE ANIMAL
MOST STRIPED

ATHOL’S ANNUAL JANUARY 3RD PET SHOW!

Me-Jane by ethsJan 2, 201610:3701/02/2016
ME-JANE AMAZING FEELING
ME-JANE, COP (CHOCOLATE-ONLY PARTY) CANDIDATE

TOP 2015 ATHOLIAN ACHIEVERS!

YON WONDER by ethsDec 30, 201520:4512/30/2015
MUFFIN MAN APOLOGIZING
MUFFIN MAN IS RUNNING FOR MAYOR ON THE DOP (DEPENDS-ON PARTY) PLATFORM.

MUFFIN MAN RETURNS FROM HAWAII TO APOLOGIZE!

Mr. Whooey by ethsDec 29, 201523:1212/29/2015
SHIMY HIME MR. WHOOEY KILLED MANFRED
SHIMY HIME AT CONVENTION FOR WOMEN WHO HAVE BEEN SHRUNK BY THE MEN IN THEIR LIVES. Shimy on right.

SHIMY HIME SAYS. “WAKE UP, ATHOLIANS! MR. WHOOEY HATES ANIMALS!

Uncategorized by ethsDec 28, 201523:4612/28/2015
PARTYING AUNT

DECEMBER DISCOUNTS! RENTAL RELATIVES, STREET SIGNS, AND ROLE MODEL APPLIANCES!

Dr. Long by ethsDec 27, 201516:5212/27/2015
WILL WATT NPATBHAEBBUG
WILL WATT, SPACKING (SPEAKING IN ACRONYMS) EXPERT

NANA, PAGE, AND TYRA BEING HELD AT EAST BORDER PATROL BY UNAUTHORIZED GUARDS!

Mr. Whooey by ethsDec 26, 201521:58
MR. WHOOEY SAVED THESE PENNIES
MR. WHOOEY, GROP (GREED-IS-GOOD PARTY) PLATFORM CANDIDATE 

FREE SEMINAR AT WHOOEY’S HOW-TO-UNIVERSITY, ATHOL’S NEW SCHOOL!

Elsie What-When by ethsDec 25, 201522:5812/26/2015
HENRIETTA HUPHUP USED THIS TEAPOT
HENRIETTA HUPHUP IS RUNNING FOR MAYOR ON POP (PROMISE-TO-KEEP-MY-PROMISE) PARTY

ATHOL COMMUNITY NEWS: CASTING CALLS, BIRTHS, BUSINESSES, AND RELATIONSHIPS!

Melody Agogo by ethsDec 23, 201513:5912/26/2015
TIE 3RD HUSBAND ALMOST WORE
3RD HUSBAND ALMOST WORE TIE ON THE LEFT.

MELODY AGOGO TO RUN FOR MAYOR ON KYOP (KEEP-YOUR-HUSBAND-SAFE PARTY) PLATFORM!

Keith M. Caged by ethsDec 21, 201521:4712/21/2015
DR. LONG EXPLAINS VERBAL ABUSE
DR. LONG, VERBAL ABUSE TO SLUGS THERAPIST

NANA, PAGE, AND TYRA SIGHTED HITCHHIKING IN CALIFORNIA NEAR OAKLAND ZOO!

Mrs. Long by ethsDec 20, 201519:1112/20/2015
MAE PULLHAM COMMENTING ON MYSTERY EYES
MAE PULLHAM, ATHOL DENTIST WHO SOMETIMES TREATS EYES.

MYSTERY EYES PEER OUT OF ABANDONED BUILDING IN ATHOL!

Ms. Lessparts by ethsDec 19, 201516:5212/19/2015
MRS. LOIS BLANKIE AWAY
MRS. LOIS. PHOTO TAKEN BEFORE HER DAUGHTER LOIS LOIS LEFT HOME

BLACK HOLE CONTINUES TO ERUPT! HUGH BIKE MAN AND LOIS LOIS RETURN!

Dr. Long by ethsDec 18, 201517:5512/18/2015
MRS. LOIS 7TH HUSBAND
MRS. LOIS. PHOTO TAKEN BEFORE HER DAUGHTER LOIS LOIS LEFT HOME

BLACK HOLE ERUPTS! WILL CATCHEM AND MRS. LOIS RETURN! MISSING SINCE 11/07/15

Uncategorized by ethsDec 17, 201522:2712/17/2015
SHIMY HIME PHOTO AFTER SHRUNK
Photograph taken at a convention for WWHBSBTMITL: Women Who Have Been Shrunk by The Men in Their Lives.

SHIMY HIME TO RUN FOR MAYOR ON SNIP (SIZE IS NOT IMPORTANT) PLATFORM!

YON WONDER by ethsDec 16, 201519:3412/16/2015
DR. LONG EAR LOBES
DR. LONG, EAR LOBE THERAPIST

MR. WHOOEY ANNOUNCES WHOOEY’S 1ST MR. ATHOL MANLY CONTEST! PERSONALITY, TALENT, AND EAR LOBES TO BE JUDGED!

Mr. Smith by ethsDec 15, 201519:1912/15/2015
BEN TRACKER EXTINCT

BANANA SLUG, TIGER, AND PENGUIN ESCAPE FROM ATHOL SAFARI PARK! ROAD BLOCKS INSTALLED!

Will Watt by ethsDec 14, 201514:1712/14/2015
WILL WATT MATIDY
WILL WATT, SPOP (SHORT-SPEAKING PARTY) CANDIDATE FOR MAYOR

IF ELECTED MAYOR, WILL WATT WILL ENFORCE SPACSING (SPEAKING IN ACRONYMS) INTO MEGAPHONES!

Me-Jane by ethsDec 13, 201517:0212/13/2015
SMILEY'S BACK WALL
PHOTO TAKEN BEFORE "BIRTHING."

SHELVES OF FEMININE PRODUCTS AND CONTRACEPTIVES “BIRTH” INTO FALMART HOME DINING ROOM!

Me-Jane by ethsDec 12, 201523:4312/12/2015
Gopher
MELODY AGOGO TRANSLATED GOPHER REPRESENTATIVES MESSAGE

DELAYED AUTOPY REPORT REVEALS WATER SUFFOCATION CAUSED MANFRED MOLE, JR.’S DEATH!

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