ANOTHER SETBACK FOR SHIMY HIME.
Shimy Hime, recovering from two recent accidents, suffered another setback this morning. Gramps #3924, flown from Athol to a hospital outside Lafayette, CA, to offer comfort to long-time friend Shimy Hime, apparently sneezed after a laughing fit without covering his nose and mouth, blowing Shimy off her sponge bed. The sponge had been selected from a dozen sponges flown in from Tampon Springs, Florida, because of its contour, a perfect fit for Shimy’s body.
KLEIN HIME TRAVELS ABROAD IN SEARCH OF REVERSAL REMEDY!
Klein Hime, husband of Shimy Hime who was recently hospitalized for injuries suffered during a fall, has flown abroad in search for a remedy to reverse shrinking.
ANNUAL FRUIT FLY DAY A HUGE SUCCESS!
In the past few weeks, citizens of Athol have raised millions of fruit flies for the annual celebration. Friday, June 26th, the hard work and charitable efforts came to a culmination. Mr. Smith, founder of Insect Rehabilitation Center, created Athol Annual Fruit Fly Day in honor of fruit flies who give their lives to genetic and disease research.
SHIMY HIME SUFFERS RELAPSE Shimy Hime suffered another setback after a nurse unintentionally stepped on her. Ms. Hime, shrunk to the size of a six-inch doll by her husband Klein Hime during an experiment to save space, had been […]
Unidentified snail last seen with Summer the Snail
Late last night, Summer the Snail was found crushed to death on 1st Street. It had been assumed that Summer, last seen on May 25, 2015, with an unidentified snail, willfully escaped Athol Safari Park, although owner Elsie What-When adamantly denied the possibility. “Summer was trustworthy and loyal. The other animals in the safari park loved Summer.”
Investigation is forthcoming.
SHIMY HIME SURVIVES.
SHIMY HIME ON DOG’S NOSE
Early this morning, news of Shimy Hime’s progress was received from Shimy Hime’s husband, Klein Hime. She is recovering nicely after falling from a Tupperware bathtub onto the bath mat.
Shimy is on the right. (WARNING: For identity-safety, real-life image of resident has been altered.) Shimola (Shimy) Ann Hime hospitalized. Shimy was flown to unknown hospital near Lafayette, CA where they specialize in treating women who have […]
Ulric Utter, founder of Anti-V and Anti-S Words Institute challenges the word Sporking! “Sporking suggests violence whereas Shporking has a softer serene sound.” Will Watt, founder of Sporking Institute fires back: “Sporking named for LaLa […]
THE DAILY ATHOLIAN: 