GIANT MARSHMALLOWS LAND IN ATHOL!

A MARSHMALLOW ANALYST, SHOWN ON THE LEFT IN PHOTO, FLOWN IN FROM OYMYAKON, SIBERIA, COMMENTED: “THESE MARSHMALLOWS ARE NOT EVENLY ROASTED WHICH SUGGESTS DISTRACTION, DISTRESS, OR MARITAL PROBLEMS ON THE PART OF THE CHEF.”

MARSHMALLOW ANALYST’S MOTHER COMMENTED:

"You are what you eat."
“MY SON NEVER GAVE ME ANY TROUBLE, EXCEPT WHEN HE ROASTED MARSHMALLOWS IN HIS BED.”

OUTER SPACE FOOD ANALYST WHO RECENTLY MOVED TO ATHOL TO COMPETE IN POLE VAULTING SAID:

IDENTIFYING MARSHMALLOW EXPERT
“THE SUGAR IS DEFINITELY FROM OUTER SPACE, SLIGHTLY MORE CRUNCHY THAN EARTH SUGAR. GRAVITATIONAL PULL AFFECTS THE OVERALL CHEWINESS.”

 

NEW RESIDENT OF ATHOL STUDYING SPACE ALIEN AWARENESS:

MAN WITH HEAD BANDAGED
“I MAY HAVE TO GET MORE FORGIVENESS COUNSELING. NORMALLY I LIKE SPACE ALIEN FOOD, BUT THESE MARSHMALLOWS BONKED ME ON THE HEAD, AND THEY GAVE ME HEARTBURN.”

ATHOL’S SWEETS CONNOISSEUR SPOKE ABOUT THE GIANT MARSHMALLOWS:

CHOCOLATOLOGIST“THEY PULLED OUT THREE OF MY TEETH, BUT THE GOOD THING IS THAT ONLY ONE OF THEM WAS IN THE FRONT.”

MRS. LONG
THE SKIES WERE SUNNY TODAY.”

 

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