DISTANT COUSIN MISSING! La House of Slightly Difficult Relatives did not have a photo of Distant Cousin. YON WONDER PASSES SECTION ONE OF WRITING TEST! Wonder, running on LOP (Loathe-Sticky-Labels-On-Produce) platform will retake Section […]
Category: Census Taker and Handwriting Analyst
ATHOL RESIDENTS BRACE FOR HANDWRITING ANALYZES!
SUSPICION HOVERS OVER BLACK HOLE TRIP LIST PRESUMABLY WRITTEN BY MUFFIN MAN. Gramps #3924, Independent candidate for mayor, found innocent! ME-JANE, COP CANDIDATE FOR MAYOR, REFUSES TO TAKE HANDWRITING TEST. “Chocolate makes me shake.” When […]
GUNHILDA S. ASKEW REVEALS HER MIDDLE NAME: SLIGHTLY
“SLIGHT” CAN BE AN UNPLEASANT WORD, BUT “SLIGHTLY” IS ACCEPTABLE, SAYS ULRIC UDDER. Udder, SLOP candidate for mayor and founder of Anti-V and Anti-S Words Institute, was the recent target of a call from an anonymous […]
GUNHILDA ASKEW PASSES ATHOL’S TEMPORARY RESIDENCY TEST!
GUNHILDA ASKEW RECEIVES POLKA DOT RESIDENCY CARD AND IS ATHOL’S NEW CENSUS TAKER AND HANDWRITING ANALYST! Askew agreed to learn the words to last year’s Athol Greenness Competition, the 3rd question on the Athol Temporary […]
GUNHILDA ASKEW WILL TAKE TEMPORARY RESIDENCY TEST!
What does the acronym WWHBSBTMITL represent? What is the newest addition to the Athol Safari? i.e. Rudgear the Rhinoceros. Sing the winning song from last year’s Athol Greenness Competition.
GUNHILDA ASKEW ADMITS CHEATING IN CONTEST WHEN SHE WAS 25 MONTHS OLD!
RESIDENTS OF ATHOL PREPARE FOR A CENSUS COUNT! Although Gunhilda Askew cheated in the How-Many-Gummies-Are-In-The-Jar contest, the review panel for the position of census taker and handwriting analyst decided Ms. Askew is eminently qualified to pass onto […]
GUNHILDA ASKEW, HANDWRITING SPECIALIST AND CENSUS TAKER, COMING TO ATHOL!
APPLICANT INTERVIEW PANEL WILL INCLUDE KEITH M. CAGED, WILL CATCHEM, AND GRAMMY #211. If Gunhilda Askew, resident of Lafayette, CA, is approved by the panel, she will enter Phase Two – Temporary Residency Test. If Ms. Askew passes […]
THE DAILY ATHOLIAN: 