LATE LAST NIGHT MOLES SANK HOMES BELONGING TO MR. WHOOEY, MUFFIN MAN, AND AUGUST O. CASION.
EARLY THIS MORNING, KEITH M. CAGED, EAST BORDER PATROL GUARD AND FORMER ZOOLOGIST, DISCOVERED THE BODY OF MANFRED MOLE, JR. IT HAS NOT BEEN DETERMINED IF DEATH OCCURRED BY NATURAL CAUSES.
The following items were found in each of the sunken homes:
Caged would not comment if there was any connection between this finding and the destruction of the homes.