Emotionally Unstable Golf Ball Credited with Reviving Business at The Black Hole! Today, the following entertainment and businesses will be available:
The Arts: Passion Ata, President of Athol Drama Society, speaks of plays opening at the Event Horizon:
Sports: Wrestling will be demonstrated:
Music: 
Apparel: Melody Agogo, married five times, each marriage ending with a dead spouse, and owner of Clothes That Hug You, will offer clothing suitable for traveling: 
Word to the wise: To enjoy yourself thoroughly, be prepared for the occasion:
In Other Breaking New: Lead Reporter speaks of golf balls arriving in Athol from Florida, New York, New Jersey, California, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Washington, D.C. to Athol! 
Athol Sheep Educationalist and Golf Ball Destresser:
THE DAILY ATHOLIAN: 