BREAKING NEWS: Yesterday, a soccer ball rolled through downtown Athol heading in the direction of T.I.S.H.’s (There Is Still Hope) border. Early this morning, a golf ball rolled through downtown, apparently aiming for Athol’s The Black Hole.
The owner of the golf ball agreed to speak to our reporter about his moment of anger:
The owner admitted the golf ball had suffered low esteem for the past year:
Atholians discussed the plight of the golf ball at a luncheon date:
Athol Businesses Offer Discounts in Honor of the Event: 
Anna Lou Very-Picky’s Grandma, Space Alien Shoe Colorist, Gravity Time-Squash Theorist:
TO BE CONTINUED:
THE DAILY ATHOLIAN: 