GRAVITY SHIFT TRIGGERS CLOTHING TO ACT OUT!   SUSPICIOUS CLOTHING WAS LAST SEEN NEAR THE BORDER:

MELODY AGOGO, OWNER OF LA CLOTHES THAT HUG YOU:

KEITH M. CAGED, ATHOL BORDER GUARD, ORDERED HELICOPTERS TO SEARCH THE AREA:

ADDITIONAL ADVISORY:

WHEN ASKED WHAT CAUSED THE TILT, ATHOL SCIENTIST #1 SAID:

GRAVITATIONAL ODDITIES PHYSICAL THERAPIST ADVISED HOW TO OFFSET NEGATIVE AFFECTS:

SIDETRACK:

FUTURIST: