OF MINIMAL RELEVANCE:

THE REPORTER’S FIRST ASSIGNMENT INVOLVED INTERVIEWING PEOPLE WHO HAD EATED A CHERRY JELLO DESSERT AT A FUND-RAISING POTLUCK DINNER AND BROKEN THEIR TEETH ON CHERRY PITS. 

BACK TO THE STORY:

 ME-JANE, FALMART HOMES MIDWIFE, PREVIOUSLY INVOLVED IN SUSPECTED THEFT OF CHOCOLATE, SAID:

MEANWHILE, AT THE FIELD OF CHOCOLATE, WINNIE RYDER SAID:

A GRAVITATIONAL EXPERT WAS CONSULTED: