OFFENSIVE STREET SIGNS WILL BE REPLACED!  

EXAMPLE:  A “STOP” SIGN WILL READ:  “IT IS BEST TO PAUSE AND REMAIN STILL UNTIL IT IS ALL CLEAR.”

*NECESSARY CLASSES FOR ATHOLIANS TO ATTEND AT ULRIC’S INSTITUTE:

USE PLEASANT ENGLISH WHEN YOUR CHILD VOMITS ALL OVER YOUR BUSINESS SUIT.

USE PLEASANT ENGLISH WHEN YOU ACCIDENTALLY BACK YOUR CAR INTO A POLICE CAR.

USE PLEASANT ENGLISH WHEN YOUR FLIGHT HAS BEEN CANCELLED AFTER YOU ARRIVE AT THE AIRPORT.  

RESPOND IN PLEASANT-ENGLISH WHEN SOMEONE TRIPS YOU

*Ulric Utter is founder of and professor at Anti-V(violent) and Anti-S(cary) Words Institute.

UNPLEASANT WORDS IN ACRONYMS WILL BE BANNED

EXAMPLE OF PLEASANT ENGLISH ACRONYM:  ASPOPSER = ASSISTANT POPULATION SIGN MAKER

EXAMPLE OF UNPLEASANT ENGLISH ACRONYM: NOMOFIRCOFO = NO MORE FIRST CONSONANTS FOUNDATION

RECENT TEST OF LANGUAGE ON POTATOES!